Suum cuique
In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced Valentines in America. There is just something sterile in the words “mass-produced.” Thoughts of researchers, marketers, creative teams, prototypes, graphic artists, printers, digital cutters, and folding machines do little to evoke romance….at least for me, even if the sentiments are beautifully scripted. Yet, according to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion Valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year (an estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent during the Christmas holidays).
Now, I know some of you are going to fuss and disagree with me, but that is what makes this world so fantastic!! Wouldn’t it be a bore to all like chocolate ice-cream? So, here is my flavor of choice for February 14th: I have never celebrated Valentine’s Day. My husband knows to forgo getting me a card, flowers, chocolate, etc. on this day. To me it is like setting an alarm clock to remind yourself to tell your significant other that you love him/her. Even still, some forget and don’t hear the blaring bullhorn of conformity, leaving their lovers wallowing in disappointment. Indeed, each year crazy expectations are put on this money-making machine of an occasion.
My favorite flavor is “Just Because.” I love the simple gifts of a hug, a handwritten note, a flower plucked from a field off the side of the road…intimate things that show me that you really took the time to know me and then love me. A card with a UPC code on the back just doesn’t come close. Rather, "just because" expressions become moments that make everyday a special occasion.
“Suum cuique” translated into English means “to each his own.” We each have unique tastes, styles, and things we savor. Each one of these distinctions are gifts. Hence, just being yourself is a beautiful love gift you give yourself each sunrise. The fun is when you wake up and savor someone else’s uniqueness. By sundown you have mixed flavors and discovered a brand new taste for life.
What if we moved beyond the mass-produced occasions and into the flavor-making occasion of “Just Because”?
Mix it up, get to thinking, and churn up a special gift for your special someone. Maybe she likes dresses wrapped in brown paper and string, maybe he likes homemade bread. How about a handmade card, a song (better yet, a serenade), an empty photo album that you agree to fill together by the following year, a pocket full of guitar picks with the promise that you will teach her how to play, a canvas that you paint together while sipping wine? Whatever it is…make it “suum cuique.”
Now, I know some of you are going to fuss and disagree with me, but that is what makes this world so fantastic!! Wouldn’t it be a bore to all like chocolate ice-cream? So, here is my flavor of choice for February 14th: I have never celebrated Valentine’s Day. My husband knows to forgo getting me a card, flowers, chocolate, etc. on this day. To me it is like setting an alarm clock to remind yourself to tell your significant other that you love him/her. Even still, some forget and don’t hear the blaring bullhorn of conformity, leaving their lovers wallowing in disappointment. Indeed, each year crazy expectations are put on this money-making machine of an occasion.
My favorite flavor is “Just Because.” I love the simple gifts of a hug, a handwritten note, a flower plucked from a field off the side of the road…intimate things that show me that you really took the time to know me and then love me. A card with a UPC code on the back just doesn’t come close. Rather, "just because" expressions become moments that make everyday a special occasion.
“Suum cuique” translated into English means “to each his own.” We each have unique tastes, styles, and things we savor. Each one of these distinctions are gifts. Hence, just being yourself is a beautiful love gift you give yourself each sunrise. The fun is when you wake up and savor someone else’s uniqueness. By sundown you have mixed flavors and discovered a brand new taste for life.
What if we moved beyond the mass-produced occasions and into the flavor-making occasion of “Just Because”?
Mix it up, get to thinking, and churn up a special gift for your special someone. Maybe she likes dresses wrapped in brown paper and string, maybe he likes homemade bread. How about a handmade card, a song (better yet, a serenade), an empty photo album that you agree to fill together by the following year, a pocket full of guitar picks with the promise that you will teach her how to play, a canvas that you paint together while sipping wine? Whatever it is…make it “suum cuique.”
I am with you 100%!!! We don't "celebrate" valentines day either... (although I do get the little cards for my kiddos class). What great suggestions you had... a gesture of love can be just about anything! For me, a Pez dispenser says it all!
Reply to this
What a very refreshing thing to read and hear...I never thought I would see a women share the same thoughts on this subject as myself. Not to say that I do not mind giving Elaine gifts on the day I just struggle with over commercialized holidays like Valentines. "Just because" is a very good approach to this...the relationship, the love should be an ongoing celebration.
Where has our originality gone as a country? We are victims of the very "capital" system we are so famous for perfecting. We need to break out of the molds set for us and realize it is alright to not always follow, sometimes it is better to lead or just be different...just because.
Ingenuity and new thinking is not lost, just buried in routine.
Thanks for sharing and making me think
Reply to this
I also agree with you! I have never liked Valentine's Day, even as a child. Why do we need a day to express how we feel about someone? Why does just one specific day need to be set aside for us to shower our loved ones with love? My husband and I do not celebrate V-Day for this reason. I try (although sometimes not successfully) to show and tell my husband how I feel each and every day.
I also love your idea of "just because". I think I will start this up with my husband...just because!
Reply to this
Today is Valentine's Day. I handed my 6 year old daughter a simple glass bear holding a red heart.
The inscription read:
My gift to you is my love. Given from deep within my heart. This special love will never end, Even when we are apart.
It made her cry. She loves so deeply, I am almost envious of it. To love so completely... to be touched at the core of your soul by simple words.
I can't help but think Jesus wrote that inscription for all of us. His love for us is deep, all consuming, and complete. Like a warm blanket just taken out of the dryer, so comforting, so encompassing is His love for us. His special love NEVER ends, even while WE are apart. Happy Valentine's Day Father, I love you.
Reply to this